What is the definition of Mistress?
Someone between the Mister and Mattress
I bought a car last week. Well, by 'bought' I mean 'poisoned' and by 'car' I mean 'my neighbor's dog.'
While out one morning in the park, a jogger found a brand new tennis ball. Seeing no one around that it might belong to, he slipped it into the pocket of his shorts.
Later, on his way home, he stopped at the pedestrian crossing, waiting for the lights to change.
A girl standing next to him eyed [...]
Wow! I received from Chris this morning 4 pictures of a “Funny Monster”. Well, this is what it looks like! A strange hairy beast, looking like a rug with teeth.
No idea though if this beast really exists, but I’ll let you judge by seeing these pictures of this strange creature.
Added to the Funny Animals page!
Q: What do you do with 365 used condoms?
A: Melt them into a tire and call it a good year.
I used to live with five straight guys and -- ew, the cleaning schedule was 'nope.'
Here's an absolutely shit-faced Christina Ricci in Paris last night, and is anyone at all surprised to see Lindsay Lohan at the scene of the crime? That's like seeing a fish in the ocean. If the ocean was 3/4ths... ...read full story

FAIRY GOTHMOTHER
You know…from Tim Burton’s Cinderella.
(Vyxsin from The Amazing Race)
Picture by: prphotos.com Caption by: smen via Poster Builder
A police officer pulled over a red Corvette after it had run a stop sign. “May I see your driver’s license and registration please?”
“What’s the problem, officer?”
“You just ran the stop sign back there at the last intersection.”
“Oh, come on pal, there wasn’t a car within miles of me”.
“Nevertheless sir, you are required to come [...]


